You don't play left field.

I was living 2,000 away from home. I didn’t know many people, so I spent a lot of time at the gym. My BMI thanked me, my social calendar did not. So when you got on the treadmill next to me, even though there were several other opened, I’ll admit-I smiled on the inside. We small talked about the usual: what we did for work, what we liked to do for fun, where we were from (Me: Boston , You: Texas ). I thought it was going somewhat well. You mentioned your family was originally from Mexico . We were down south-that sounded about right. I tried to impress you with the limited Spanish vocabulary I could remember from college. You tried to impress me by increasing the incline on your treadmill. All was going well. We left the gym together and as I walked by you to my car, you noticed the back of my Red Sox Tee. “Oh my god, that’s so weird!” You proclaimed. I turned back around just in time to realize there was no sarcasm on your face or in your voice as you said: "Your last name is Ramirez?? That's my last name too!!”

Apparently Red Sox Nation has yet to reach your native town in Mexico . You are a Male, correct? As in you have a penis? Do you not watch sports? How do you not know who Manny Ramirez is? I’m so confused. (Also I feel it is important to note: adding to the unintentional comedic value of your comment- I am 100% irish, with freckles, pale skin, red hair, ect).

So to answer your question: No. My last name is not Ramirez. And due to your lack of common sports knowledge-and common sense-it never will be.