You know how much cheese I eat on a weekly basis.

We see each other every few weeks, usually in the evenings. You're always friendly, and quick to offer me a slice of bologna when I look hungry. Yes that's three quarters of a pound, thank you. Sliced thin, thanks. Oh, you need my ticket number? 14. Can you get my phone number? No, I don't think so. What are we going to tell our kids? "You had me at 'we have a sale on Boar's Head Salami this week'?"

There may be only a deli counter between us, but we're worlds (and a Land O'Lakes) apart.