You're bigger than me.

 

We were at a house party, I was hammered out of my gourd and falling all over myself. I said my "gfllblebles" (goodbyes) and stumbled out the door, attempting to walk myself home. Being a total gentleman and seeing a lady in distress, you offered to rescue me on your Nissan stallion and drive me to my house. We talked about something I will never remember, I didn't puke, and a few minutes later I was home! Glory be. Apparently I had mumbled something that made you fall in love with me immediately, because all of a sudden you had a hungry look in your eye and a crooked smile on your face. You leaned over for a goodnight kiss with such gusto that you ended up eating my mouth while I wondered what was going on (and why I couldn't breath). After I wiped my face and spat out your saliva, you told me you were too drunk to drive home and asked if you could crash. I said no, the inn's all full tonight, and have a good drive back to the suburbs.

Every time I saw you after that night, you would get in my space and tower over me, asking me why I never returned your 4am texts. Because "blank drunken stare" doesn't ever mean "yes." Commit that to memory.