I met you at the bar on my birthday. That tight white tee shirt made you eye-catching and the beer made you gorgeous. I'm not quite sure how we ended up dating. I think it was boredom, mostly. Remember that time when you came over with your staple six pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade? It took about ten minutes for you to come in the door, barf all over my kitchen floor, clean it up, and quietly excuse yourself. We all felt bad, you probably felt worse. Thanks for cleaning the floor, though. I mean I wasn't gonna ask you to clean it. In fact, I don't think I ever actually said another word to you after that. Good times. Good times.
There is no way we will commence or continue dating. Why? I think you know why. But just in case, here are some of the reasons.
**These stories are all true, and happened to real people. Names and dates have been removed to protect the creepy.**
Friday, January 30, 2009
You barfed on my floor.
I met you at the bar on my birthday. That tight white tee shirt made you eye-catching and the beer made you gorgeous. I'm not quite sure how we ended up dating. I think it was boredom, mostly. Remember that time when you came over with your staple six pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade? It took about ten minutes for you to come in the door, barf all over my kitchen floor, clean it up, and quietly excuse yourself. We all felt bad, you probably felt worse. Thanks for cleaning the floor, though. I mean I wasn't gonna ask you to clean it. In fact, I don't think I ever actually said another word to you after that. Good times. Good times.
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